Birthday Plans, gone awry

Well I had an idea for my birthday.

I don't as a general rule, have massive plans for my birthday but I thought since it was the big 25 I'd put my back into it and PARTY.

Two options for my birthday came up, I made the call and finessed the idea.

Made and sent out invitations.

And then it all went to hell in a hand cart.

I found out that I had invited some people who I hadn't really mean't to invite and although I feel confident they would decline, I wouldn't know what to do with if they did attend.

So I recalled the invite (lol Indian giving, is especially amusing because the original place was Indian for a bollywood night) to later recreate it and correct this mistake.

Only to find that the venue had double booked my request!

So back to the second option!

From budget to bad

Recently we had an employee leave, and as it happens her odd jobs were distributed through the remaining workers.
I managed to pick up the task of ensuring the already booked corporate functions went off without a hitch.The venues, entertainment and accommodation were already secured all that was left was food and decoration duties... or so I thought.

Basically it all started going wrong when I found out that the 40 something rooms we needed booked over two days had not actually been confirmed.
I also found in addition to no accommodation actually booked:-

- The venue for dinner had NO booking and had since secured another booking, a gold wedding anniversary, an issue since we needed the whole restaurant.
- The four piece band booked for the dinner (in the unconfirmed restaurant) does not fit into a restaurant only big enough to seat 80 people comfortably.
- The guests, including board members and share holders, require another two night’s accommodation on top of the previous night, and the transfers that were organised for them was going to send them to the wrong hotel.

So basically my budget is doomed. Our la-de-dah event is NOW booked for dinner at Bilson’s restaurant (since we booted out the gold wedding anniversary), with an after-party at the Marble room in the Radisson Plaza (since we can’t fit a band or dance floor into Bilson’s) and stumbling-distance accommodation at the Radisson.All in all, problems aside I have rather enjoyed booking it all and thinking about how lovely it will all look when MY hard work pays off. Maybe a career change coming on? hehe
Bilson's;

The Storm Tropper Incident

Oh no.. not this kind.
The kind with far less ACTUAL power.

I had an 'incident' with a Sydney CityRail transit officer recently. I am always in possesion of a valid ticket, I buy tickets, like all the time - get it?


Why does Murphy's twisted and sick law dictate that the very day I change my jacket for casual Friday, happens to be the very day I leave it in my normal trench coat pocket and a proliferation transit officers decend upon Parramatta station.

So, panic-stricken I cast a look around and bunny hop in behind someone else, making a beeline to donate to the Salvation Army (an elaborate distraction and something I true to do when I see him.)

'Excuse me Miss, may I see your ticket?'

... Rats, the gig is up. I can't think of any plausible lie, grit my teeth and tell the truth.

I walk away with a $200 fine BUT FINGERS CROSSED that when reviewed I get off!

To make matters worse, I forgot the Salvo man too!

Spawn of Cyrus

We already know the link between these individuals; Destiny Hope (aka Miley) and Billy Ray Cyrus (Achy Breaky Heart Era) but there is YET ANOTHER CYRUS ON THE SCENE!

This ladies and gentlemen, is Trace Cyrus; singer and musician of Metro Station.

The band name might not mean anything to you but their song 'Shake It' is getting some MASSIVE airtime at the moment.

It is catchy, and before I knew he was a Cyrus I enjoyed it singing the words 'Shake, Shake, Shake, 'Shake, Shake, Shake It' merrily.
But then I was told he was one of them and I just can't get into the song now!
My only concession in enjoyment, is the fact he's not of Billy Ray's loins but was adopted and he and Destiny Hope/Miley share a mother.

It's almost as bad as 'Living Lohan' on the E! channel, basically the Lohan family 'reality' show cashing in on Lindsay's fame - Dina the mother included. Sad.

Hehe found this when searching for asinine Miley pictures.

Taboo Talk

Now I know that we don't talk about this in polite society but who pretends to be polite?

As I work in a large building with several different companies on the one floor, we share a bathroom with the others on our floor.

There is a guy on our floor we call 'Newspaper Man' who is so named for his unwavering attention to his newspaper at all times of his bathroom use, and as I have been told I mean all times, he completes his whole business with one hand and both eyes on his newspaper.
It became so intreging to us all that our GM could not help himself and had to ask him if he 'had to read the newspaper so much as part of his job' - thinking perhaps he was studying the stock market or capital gains interest rates, but he gave a rather airy 'Oh, um, not really' response.

The bathrooms in my building are also secured, and you have to enter a code to get into them, and unlock it on the way out. Which is bloody annoying, and numerous people mostly leave it ajar and it drives me insane when people just let it slam shut - even if they can see someone at the basin. It's maddening.

Personally I think that non-private bathrooms should be more like Supre stores. No not crammed to the rafters with racks and people, but playing music so that we can't hear everyone's everything.

So long, farewell, get out of my life.

Channel Ten finally quashed thier lagging juggernaut, Big Brother this week for good.
I don't like 'reality' television, and I deeply doubt that George Orwell had this in mind when he penned Nineteen Eighty Four. It is beyond me why on earth I would want to sit around, watching people sit around.

Yes I realise that they do 'challenges' but that's not real either, is it?


I watched the first series, sparadically and with disinterest as Sara Maree bum-danced her way into our hearts. That was more than enough for me, but found the occasional 'Up Late' interesting because it seems more true voyerisum – what else were a bunch of young people going to do couped up in a house together but get busy?


After the 'Turkey Slapping' incident, BB was cut short hilariously quickly, and I thought that would put the final nail in the coffin... until Kyle and Jackie-O ousted Gretel Killeen and administered the kiss of death.

What astounds me is the number of incarnations and countries that ventured into Big Brother, Africa, Albania, Argentina, Belgium, Brazil, Bulgaria, Canada, Colombia, Croatia, Czech Rebublic, Denmark, Equador, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Cyprus, Hungary, Italy, India, Israel, Mexico, Middle East (discontinued haha), Netherland, Nigeria, Norway, Pacific Region, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Romania, Russia, Scandanavian Penninsula, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Africa, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland, Thailand, United Kingdom, United States (who ran 10 series!) and the Western Balkans.

I thought the world had better taste than this.


Are these the three most obnoxious people in Australia? Chances are yes!

Life as a Stripper

So fear not, I have not changed professions or anything.

What I mean here is, a danger I have encountered in my deepest engrained behaviour, stripping off to go to the toilet... before I'm in the cubicle.
I'm used to doing this at home, and at my previous job. But the perils occurs, when working in a large office block where the bathroom is shared by several other offices and dozens of unknown people (because stripping off in front of my co-workers is ok? lol)

I obviously don't mean pulling my pants round to my ankles, but untucking my shirt or even unbutton my pants... WARNING WARNING!

I can't help it! Must become more vigilant, I haven't been sprung yet BUT it can't be too far off surely.

SEX SELLS... WE GET IT

Look at this woman, shiny and inviting in her polished rubber.

All plump red lascivious lips and smouldering eyes.

A fisherman's hat and fish in hand? Is this I know who you did last summer? The story of a lusty fisherwoman wench?

No. It's the new advertisment Fisherman's Friend you know, those nasty little lollies in paper bags that are supposed; to helped relieve the problems experienced by these fisherman in the freezing conditions.

Honestly, I hate to harp on (actually yes I do, who doesn't love a good harp?) but why are we having products thrust - pardon the pun - upon us like this?

I almost feel prudish commenting on the link between a rubber clad body and a fisherman's friend... the two are synonomous surely? hmm

Life as a Fashion Critic; part 3

Trucker Chic ... is defiantly a style which I am unhappy to see the continued proliferation.
This is SportsGirls offering of a 'dress' along with another trucker inspired flannel nightmare which looks exactly like this one. Is it too difficult to make a lovely sexy little dress, a girl can wear with some heels? Apprently...
Sportsgirl do have some nice little tops, and a rather hideous 'Fur Collar Gillet' so popular it has sold out online, what a shame.
Seems Just Jeans and JeansWest have avoided rocking out with flannies,
can't say the same for JayJays 'On the Streets' range though. Nearly every SES variety of cheap (and nasty) clothing store has a form of this, with varients including baby doll, tight under the bust, belted etc. Of course, you can't swing a pair of leggins in Supre or Ice without hitting a flannie... in fact you can't swing anything in Supre because they are always crammed to the max with clothes rails just stepping in makes you feel like an elephant. And you better Valley Girl are in on it!

This cute little dress is immediatly discounted because ValleyGirl have decided to name is a 'SACK DRESS' I kid you not.

Queen of the Slouch

Mischa Barton has probably been emblazoned as Queen of many things by many a different magazine editor.

Queen of Rich Teen Angst by Girlfriend magazine,
Queen of the Sexy Lithe body by Ralph magazine,
Queen of Cellulite by Who/Any trash magazine

But none so prestigious a title as the one I have elected.

Mischa Barton is QUEEN OF THE SLOUCH

Look at that posture.... why? Why is she doing that?
Is it a by-product of going out with the grease factory Brendan Davies (or whatever his name was, you know who I mean) who was a foot short than her, so she was forced to slouch?

Oh my god... Nicole Kidman Syndrome?
I am beginning to see a pattern here...

THEN; shoulders rolled AND NOW: Still short bloke but upstanding

Look! THEN: AND With something called Cisco Adler

Richmond trains are horse sh*it part 2

OK I promise I will try really had not to whinge about this too much but it's too rich not to share.

The train was SO BUSY today, I could not physically get in the train - so the gaurd allowed me to travel with him in his compartment to save me having to wait forty mins for the next one.
Best train trip of my life.

Life as a Bad starter

Kicking self in bottom, had packet of pizza shapes after lunch :(

Ignored apple merrily in favour of pizza shapes.

Perhaps a job where snack food and confectionery samples are lying around en masse should not be in correlation with a junk food junkie and a new food plan. *SIGH*

And thanks to Dataceptionist for words of encouragment and tips - definatly true and good to consider food consumption as a matter or perspective.

Also work related mini rant, Richmond trains are horse shit. I've caught the peak train for Parramatta four times now, and am really worried at how agro I got tonight.

FOUR Penrith trains and TWO Blue Mountains trains came in between the 26 minute window I was standing waiting.

Where is the synchronicity here? Four trains (not including the fact that the Mountains trains go to the Riff) going to one location every 6 and a half minutes is vulgar.

Perhaps only less vulgar than the sardine can masquerading as a train which arrived in place of the Richmond train.

I am drafting a sharply worded letter to John Aqualina (our local MP, who occasionally shows his face at the train station) or Michael Costa, because if they think cutting 400 CITY RAIL JOBS is the answer to aid the flailing and ailing rail infrastructure they have another thing coming.

Cutting off dead wood is one thing, cutting the plant off at the ground is another.

25 words or less

I don't win things.
Last year I made a concerted effort to enter as many of those shitty supermarket type competitions I could, you know the ones that they splash around supermarkets to get people to buy thier products. Obviously this works.
Figuring that someone has to win them and you have to be in it to win it, and it might as well be me! Well I didn't win a single red cent. Or bronze cent in our case?
I saw an ad for a TV comp for the new Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher movie 'What Happens in Vegas' to win his and her iPod touchs' AWESOME!
So fill out the little form and then get to this question;
Tell us in 25 words or less, "the ultimate prank you have played on the opposite sex - did it hit the jackpot or was it a complete flop?"
Horse shit isn't it? Obviously telling the truth is out of the question, because I have never done this (in my knowledge?).
But no lie I can create is elborate enough to sound plausible and yet knock socks off.
Lame.


In other news I managed to BURN MY HEAD not once but twice! With the hair straightener, totally sober - the first burn is the worst of the two burns but apprently I just didn't get enough and went back for another go of it!
And now I have two grotty, hickey looking burns which are dry and manky looking.
Just what I always wanted, to look like I have the mange starting my new job!
GHD; Thou shalt not burn thy head....

McOz, What has befallen you?

Possibly two of the benefits of not having any money and not driving is; I manage to avoid McDonalds and McDonalds drive through as two of lifes' convinences.

But yesterday I was opting for convienece and went and ordered my favourite. A medium McOz meal.

'I'm sorry we don't do them anymore...' was the result I got, I didn't know what to do.

WHAT DID SHE MEAN, THEY DON'T DO THEM ANYMORE? Can I order anything with beetroot and cooked onions anymore? NO.

So I googled McOz's dissapearence, and McFeast seems to be the culprit. The McFeast seems to have been taken off the menu some fifteen years ago... surely its reintroducion isn't progress having gotten rid of McOz?

Ranting and that is all actually

I realise that I haven't had a proper rant in a while. You know that really good kind of rant that some people just cannot understand and small children are afraid of.

I can rant about little things, like people who accost you in the street and try to give you flyer you don't want for products, religions, charities and social events you don't need no matter how much you pretend to be on the phone or hom much you listen to your iPod.

Or recruitment companies who are draining my soul away like Voldemort drinking the blood of a unicorn to stay alive on the back of Professor Quirrel's head.

Or how I am incapable of mental arithmetic which is why I will never beat my score on Who Has The Biggest Brain on Facebook.

However I cannot have a proper all encompassing rant, about how much my boss who is usually fabulous and understanding is giving me the shits about something I have already completed and sent out to the relevant parties before she told me she needs it to be leather-bound and sent out by white doves not emailed and when I call my artistic, sensitive boyfriend for sympathy all he does is tell me to get over it and that he has problems too because he has an art show that opens in a week so I go out with the intention of having a three day weekend blinder but my hair won't sit quite properly no matter how much styling product and the shirt I picked seems to have a mystery stain and there are a million silly people at the cocktail bar and the fifteen dollar cocktail I just waited ten minutes for is too cold too sweet in the wrong glass with stupid garnishing and barely three quarters full.

I cannnot rant about this. Well I could if this was a fiction blog but it's not it's a blog about what is really going and what is really going on is some sort of living stagnation that is occurring because I cannot go out into the work place and into the social scene and make connections because I am an Aquarius and I need external stimulation and I feel like writing in one long sentence because that is what I do when I rant oratorically and excessive proper punctuation is something that only terribly interesting and suave people employ so instead I will keep ranting about not being able to rant all in one sentence like a crazy woman who needs to inhale deeply from a paper bag.

sorry(ish)