Come off it

I think you'd have to be HIGH to actually think this woman is Pauline Hanson.
Seriously. Please don't take this as my advocation of PH's views of any variety and as such I had to see this.

Who knew, perhaps it would add another feather into her cap of shame (see Dancing with the Stars and the one where she was singing, which she CANNOT) but seriosuly now...
Would anyone knowingly, WANT to dye thier hair ranga red?
No... point and case.

How to lose friends and alienate me

I was excited to see that they had converted Toby Young’s memoir of his failed attempt to ‘make it’ in the US.

I was even more excited to see Simon Pegg, who I think is HILARIOUS, starring. Have you seen Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and Run Fat Boy Run? The man is a genius, especially along side Nick Frost.
Also starring Megan Fox (who?), Gillian Anderson and Jeff Bridges. I have mixed feeling about this casting, but it’s really Kirsten ‘Kiki’ Dunst that leaves me cold.
I still feel the pain of paying money to see ‘Mona Lisa Smile’ *shudder* and can’t say that I have seen a movie with her in it I have truly enjoyed.
The Virgin Suicides was weird, maybe I’m not arty enough but I thought it was lame. Nor am I an MJ fan, perhaps Kiki’s portrayal of Spiderman’s flame is only as good as the script she’d given? Of course I’ve seen ‘Bring It On’ which is inoffensive enough, I guess.
I am morbidly curious about Marie Antoinette, but I have had little luck with Sofia Coppola movies. Lost in Translation, for me, was carried off by Bill Murray and to a lesser degree Scarlet Johansson and strange mesh panties.

I get worried, when there is a movie out that I have a desire to see. At, what is it now, $16.50 a pop? If my movie experience isn’t a sure thing I don’t want to jeopardise spending that much for a luke warm experience. Or is that just me?

Curse of the Movies?

Wikepedia says:
The Superman curse refers to a series of misfortunes that have
plagued creative people involved in adaptations of Superman in various media, particularly actors
who have played the role of Superman on film and television. The curse basically
states, If you intend to play the strongest man on Earth, you will either
die or end up in the weakest position possible.

There are more than a dozen instances to the Superman curse, George Reeves and Christopher Reeve seem to be the most harrowing examples.
George Reeves allegedly committed suicide days before his wedding, and Christopher Reeve was paralyzed from the neck down after being thrown from his horse and sadly died in 2005.
While these are more tangible tragedies, Dean Cain who starred in the Superman series has now suffered another kind of death, in his career, relegated to 'Ripley's - Believe it or not...'
And Teri Hatcher, successful in her career (questionable?) but looks like a scarecrow, after spending how long being luscious Lois Lane?

Now it seems like Batman; The Dark Knight, may have been struck with a curse of thier own.
Of course the tragic death of Heath Ledger - who played the Joker.
And Christian Bale - who played Bruce Wayne/Batman, having been investigated for assult of his mother and sister and although he has been released without charges.
And now Morgan Freeman involved in a serious car accident - who played Lucius Fox of Wayne Enterprises.

So it's true she is the Devil

We Salute you our half inflated dark lord! So one of these is a cartoon and one is just plain loony tunes.
The thought of Celine Dion singing AC/DC 'You Shook Me All Night Long' is enough to keep me awake at night.
The song has been covered by numerous people, Kid Rock, Big & Rich, Kelly Clarkson and interestingly enough Shania Twain who's husband produced the song with AC/DC in 1980, but defiantly the most horrifying for me is this incarnation, recorded initally for a VH1 Diva's special with Anastasia (she sort of rocked it) and she now apprently she does it occasionally on stage .

Life as a Movie Reviewer; Sex and the City

Shopping for Labels, Shopping for ... Sex and the City


First as a disclaimer I have to admit I am a fan of the series, and as such have a totally skewed view on the movie.
I also don't want to give away any spoilers for those who have not yet seen it.

The movie starts out almost saccharine sweet, with a whirlwind run down on the happenings of all the protagonists, where the girls are seemingly content and happy for the last several years later.
Like the morning after, happily ever after.

As all the subplots begin to unfurl, it begins entering your consciousness that the movie is struggling to find a format, a medium between series and film.The plot (for my money) was built up to a climax at ‘The Wedding’ – by all the film shorts – but this promoted ‘climax’ happens early on and I was pleased that momentum was not lost when the plot continued.
That scene (you know what I mean if you’ve seen it) was so heart wrenching, it was almost real for me, I think that is the best I have ever seen Sarah Jessica Parker.

I found the addition of the assistant, played by Jennifer Hudson, fluffy but unnecessary to be honest, as the film goes I wouldn’t imagine it lacking if that section of focused subplot was cut. JHud did look good I’ll give her that, all soft bosom next to SJP’s pointy edges.

Of course a review cannot neglect to mention the couture. I read that Carrie wore 83 outfits, and the majority of them were a cacophony of designer labels, over the knee stockings, Eiffel tower handbags, shoe boots and bejeweled and flowered rouched dresses amongst my more loathed outfits.
Carrie’s style has always shot into the ‘eclectic’ stratosphere of course. And love it or hate it but 'that' wedding dress by Vivianne Westwood was a masterpeice.
Charlotte’s style as always was flawless and polished princess which played off Samantha’s sex kitten wardrobe but for my money I applauded Miranda’s look throughout the movie (with exception of leopard catsuit?) and complimented her figure and colouring.

All in all, I found the movie touching and comforting. Like having your favourite jumper returned to you in time for winter.
I didn’t find anything contrite or forced about the performances, and it left me almost wanting more but knowing that I didn’t want any sad sequel.
All in all, a pleasing result.
... always thine, always mine, ever ours...

SEX SELLS... WE GET IT

Look at this woman, shiny and inviting in her polished rubber.

All plump red lascivious lips and smouldering eyes.

A fisherman's hat and fish in hand? Is this I know who you did last summer? The story of a lusty fisherwoman wench?

No. It's the new advertisment Fisherman's Friend you know, those nasty little lollies in paper bags that are supposed; to helped relieve the problems experienced by these fisherman in the freezing conditions.

Honestly, I hate to harp on (actually yes I do, who doesn't love a good harp?) but why are we having products thrust - pardon the pun - upon us like this?

I almost feel prudish commenting on the link between a rubber clad body and a fisherman's friend... the two are synonomous surely? hmm

Arty photos

What do you tend to take 'arty' photos of?

While I do enjoy the obligatory famous scene shot when visiting countries, I also have favourite scenes or objects that I also like snapping.

A lone tree for instance, really captures my imagination and always gets my shutter finger itchy, like wise an ordinary object at close range. Boats, also for some reason – maybe its hereditary as my grandfather enjoyed crafting and sailing boats. So I have created a small showcase of my favoruite 'arty' (farty) shots.


A lone tree 05 Sydney Harbour 06

Polyesian Katamaran Twisted French tree

Garden light through leaf Traditional Thai boat

Loop Holes - part two

Well my loop hole has just slipped and chocked me, and as far as I am concerned have alienated scores of people who want to shift some unwanted clutter.

After stuffing up my cute ebay purchase, my seller said she would just readjust the invoice and I could simply pay fees incurred for listing the item. Excellent. Only problem being, now EBAY have revoked this feature.
So pressing my luck, I asked my seller if I could simply pay the $2.50 directly and then get her to make payment as received.
An awesome idea on my part because it would also confirm if my loophole was alive and kicking.
Apprently not.
Clearly because Ebay and PayPal are linked they are linking payment receipt directly into Ebay as a function.
Sneaky, greedy bastards.

This for me signals...

Queen of the Slouch

Mischa Barton has probably been emblazoned as Queen of many things by many a different magazine editor.

Queen of Rich Teen Angst by Girlfriend magazine,
Queen of the Sexy Lithe body by Ralph magazine,
Queen of Cellulite by Who/Any trash magazine

But none so prestigious a title as the one I have elected.

Mischa Barton is QUEEN OF THE SLOUCH

Look at that posture.... why? Why is she doing that?
Is it a by-product of going out with the grease factory Brendan Davies (or whatever his name was, you know who I mean) who was a foot short than her, so she was forced to slouch?

Oh my god... Nicole Kidman Syndrome?
I am beginning to see a pattern here...

THEN; shoulders rolled AND NOW: Still short bloke but upstanding

Look! THEN: AND With something called Cisco Adler

Keep rollin

When I was a wee little girl, I studied classical ballet. Wasn't it so fun, dressing up in the pretty outfits and learning all the positions - I can still do 1st to 5th positions, because my teachers were always hard arses.
They were the dance teacher equivilent of the nun in the Blues Brothers.

One teacher had a habit of bellowing POSTURE!!!! which the whole class would shoot up, stand straight and tense all muscles.

Obviously Kate Ritchie needs to have her own personal ballet teacher, following her around screaming POSTURE!!!! physically rolling her shoulders back, and whipping a long stick around her buttocks.

Look at her... I know I slouch but this isn't slouching, it seems to be her thrusting her shoulders forward to expose all her collar bones.

Obviously this is the pose de jour? Miley Cyrus, Keira Knightly, Carrie Underwood and Mary Kate Olsen think its terrifically emaciating looking.

I think that tanorexic troll Rachel Zoe might be to blame here, but maybe I am just looking for a scapegoat here for the proliferation of this hunching, slouch.
POSTURE!!!!!! *SIGH* why can't these girls stand up straight, roll thier shoulders back and work thier racks!! (Albeit limited portions.)

ScarJo style? or Giselle, you don't see models slouching!

25 words or less

I don't win things.
Last year I made a concerted effort to enter as many of those shitty supermarket type competitions I could, you know the ones that they splash around supermarkets to get people to buy thier products. Obviously this works.
Figuring that someone has to win them and you have to be in it to win it, and it might as well be me! Well I didn't win a single red cent. Or bronze cent in our case?
I saw an ad for a TV comp for the new Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher movie 'What Happens in Vegas' to win his and her iPod touchs' AWESOME!
So fill out the little form and then get to this question;
Tell us in 25 words or less, "the ultimate prank you have played on the opposite sex - did it hit the jackpot or was it a complete flop?"
Horse shit isn't it? Obviously telling the truth is out of the question, because I have never done this (in my knowledge?).
But no lie I can create is elborate enough to sound plausible and yet knock socks off.
Lame.


In other news I managed to BURN MY HEAD not once but twice! With the hair straightener, totally sober - the first burn is the worst of the two burns but apprently I just didn't get enough and went back for another go of it!
And now I have two grotty, hickey looking burns which are dry and manky looking.
Just what I always wanted, to look like I have the mange starting my new job!
GHD; Thou shalt not burn thy head....

Inappropriate? Or Misinterpreted

So the question I am wondering here is, who will play the part of scapegoat in this Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair photo "scandal"? Coming not to long after her MySpace photo faux pas.

And scapegoats aside what is the real issue here?

I was blissfully unaware of what a Miley Cyrus was until the Hannah Montana movie was released, and now she has a wholesome scandal on her hands it seems she will be further thrust upon us.

The photo is whatever you make of it. Miley is seemingly nude and covered by a sheet, dishevelled and pouting. Leibovitz has always claimed that she uses nudes to create; 'an instant intimacy'
While I do find it inappropriate considering Miley is only 15, but not outrageous and all else aside I think it's a good photo.

It is reported that Leibovitz snapped photos with Miley's parents onset, then more after they left.

Is this a case of obviously sinister morally bankrupt Leibovitz taking advantage of a no brain girl who's parents who named her Destiny Hope Cyrus disappear opportunely or more of a case of a curious and savvy young woman, given an opportunity now left to apologize for her coming of age and perhaps back pedal a little?

'I was so honored and thrilled to work with Annie [Leibovitz]. I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed.' - No word on what the accompanying article is - don't these people get to see the spread before it goes to press?

If I were the mother of a young tween girl I probably find it difficult to deal with (and would discourage my child from watching that pap anyway) but think I'm too old to identify with Miley, and to young for a parental uprise.

"I'm sorry that my portrait of Miley has been misinterpreted," says Leibovitz in a statement.

Being Uncool

You know that scene in Almost Famous, where Philip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs tells Patrick Fugit as William that they are both uncool?
Man I am so uncool.Maybe not as uncool as SeHoff but definatly on the uncool radar.
Part of my uncoolness comes from a deep seeded loathing of 'reality tv' so I find myself saying 'Who are these people?' whenever a new show pops up.
That and I am apprently a nanna at twenty four.
I collect lists of these shows that pop up to investigate, and see if I want to bother watching them.

Keeping up with the Kardashians first and formost WHAT is a Kardashian? Apprently Robert Kardashian is the lawyer who got O.J off... I would have thought he'd be trying to keep it on the down low.
Yes he is, but his ex wife Kris and children named (I joke not) Kourtney, Kimberley, Khloe, Kendal and Kylie (and some boringly named boys) are sharing thier lives and flogging thier shops and singing careers on E!
And like all cleaver upwardly mobile young starlets Kimberly Kardashian has been embroiled in her own sex tape 'scandal'.
We can thank Ryan Seacreast Productions for this one, thats quality entertainment right there.

Tim Gunn's Guide to Style who is Tim Gunn? And why should I be listening to him for style and taste tips? He could be Bai Ling's mentor for all I know.
Tim Gunn is a Project Runway judge (cringe reality TV) but also was chair of fashion design at some snooty design college.
I am unsure if his seemingly unerring style should be questioned or not...

Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth
I know, now I am just making people up! I thought it said alot when I searched for her photo and her subtitle was Omarosa who?
Omarosa is from The Apprentice; Celebrity Edition but other than being voted in 2005 'as the most reviled reality show contestant' by TV Guide I can't really see what else she does.
Omarosa apprently had links to the Clinton-Gore administration as a 'former political appointee in the Clinton-Gore White House.'

High School Musical I know, I know, not a television show BUT WHO THE HELL ARE THESE KIDS?
HSM is a television movie and a bunch of on stage performances made by Disney, and they all sing and dance and make merry through the benial tween plot.
YUCK. But I suppose being Disney they have a clean wholesome image... oh until photos emerge of the teen protagoist in the nude.

Life as a non-Drunkorexic

SO THIS IS MY PROBLEM? When I go drinking I eat sometimes before, during and after...
Ninemsn reports; watch the video here

A shocking new trend in young women's nutrition finds them combining a
desire to be thin with the growing problem of binge drinking.
While drunkorexia is not an official medical term, it is being used to define the
phenomenon of young women skipping meals to allow them to drink alcohol without
putting on weight.
Ms McMillan-Price explains that while replacing a meal with alcohol probably does keep the weight down, but it excludes important vitamins and nutrients needed in a healthy diet.
"Alcohol drains nutrients from your body. The more you drink the more you metabolise in a different way," she explains. "Eating on an empty stomach increases the rate you absorb alcohol and so you will get drunk faster and also lowers blood sugar levels (and willpower levels) so that you may find yourself intending not to eat and then heading for the pizza shop after a few too many and overeating all the wrong foods."

Oh I so get that, midnight cheeseburgers is what that translates to BUT I always try to feel less bad about it by thinking that I've been at the club for say several hours dancing, I feel that a cheeseburger of a measly 285 calories (which only takes 60 mins of walking at 3kph to work off *tongue in cheek*)
PAH.

Life as a Leibovitz lover

For those not in the know, Annie Leibovitz takes a fairly decent photo and I much adore her work.
She worked for Rolling Stone almost from its creation, photographing some of the biggest artists of our time, she took that photo of Yoko clinging to husband John Lennon the morning of his assassination. In the 80's she moved to Vanity Fair, took that photo of a VERY pregnant Demi Moore, Whoppi Goldberg in a milk bath, Posh and Becks in a semi pornographic shoot and oh the occasional British monarch.
Her beautiful portraiture has crafted many group shots but as I've noticed in some of the groups there is just no helping some people.

There's one in every group (well not every group) but 14years of group covers I scrolled through some of them and couldn't help notice... doesn't Renee Zellweger look like the Chinese swimmer who kicked up all that stink, whilst looking uncomfortable and out of place.

More woman of Hollywood, and why does Brittney Murphy look like she just scrawled up from a four day blinder... and Kirsten Dunst instead of looking aloof just looks a bit put out (because she's not the one wearing no shirt?)
Like I said some people just can't be helped. Lovely composition though I suppose.
This one kicked up some turbulence, I mean they are naked... oh get with it people, it's art!
Tom Ford appears to be chewing on Keira Knightly's ear? Ear fancying aside he looks ok right? KK looks a bit odd and hunched but Scarlett looks more comfortable, creamy and sort of starry-eyed.
I buy Vanity Fair VERY VERY occasionally, the bloody thing costs a fortune, but I bought and loved the series of covers she did for an article on the peril in Africa that was guest edited by notorious celebrities, George Clooney, Bono, Queen Rania, Madonna, Maya Angelou, Muhammad Ali, Barak Obama, Bill Gates, Desmond Tutu, Iman, Oprah .. OK you get the point.

This months cover features an article asking, 'Who says woman aren't funny?' and Annie photographs several female comedians taking the piss out of the culture rampant in young Hollywood, Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears, Linsday Lohan they whole nine yeads.
But I love the cover, they look dreamy and floaty and it seems that she's groping her or is that just me?
Anyway I love her. You go girl!

NB; Thanks to anon it is indeed Tom Ford.