Now I know that we don't talk about this in polite society but who pretends to be polite?
As I work in a large building with several different companies on the one floor, we share a bathroom with the others on our floor.
There is a guy on our floor we call 'Newspaper Man' who is so named for his unwavering attention to his newspaper at all times of his bathroom use, and as I have been told I mean all times, he completes his whole business with one hand and both eyes on his newspaper.
It became so intreging to us all that our GM could not help himself and had to ask him if he 'had to read the newspaper so much as part of his job' - thinking perhaps he was studying the stock market or capital gains interest rates, but he gave a rather airy 'Oh, um, not really' response.
It became so intreging to us all that our GM could not help himself and had to ask him if he 'had to read the newspaper so much as part of his job' - thinking perhaps he was studying the stock market or capital gains interest rates, but he gave a rather airy 'Oh, um, not really' response.
The bathrooms in my building are also secured, and you have to enter a code to get into them, and unlock it on the way out. Which is bloody annoying, and numerous people mostly leave it ajar and it drives me insane when people just let it slam shut - even if they can see someone at the basin. It's maddening.
Personally I think that non-private bathrooms should be more like Supre stores. No not crammed to the rafters with racks and people, but playing music so that we can't hear everyone's everything.
9 memos sent:
Bit confused, are your toilets unisex? How do YOU know about Newspaper Man? And how do you know he only uses one hand???
Oh that door thing sounds retarded! Are you on the ground floor? I can understand keeping lobby toilets secure but once you're in the building its a bit dumb? Do you have to escort guests to the toilets to let them in (and then out?)
Odd.
Hahahahah I'm imagining wee-ing with trance music pumping very loudly
Hahaha random! But relevant, imagine if THIS woman worked in your building!
Urine Way Over Your Head
Bookstore | Durham, NC, USA
(I was in the ladies room during a shift, wearing a skirt. This is key.)
Woman, in stall next to mine: “You’re not wearing any pants!”
(I ignore her, thinking she’s on the phone.)
Woman: *starts banging on the wall between us* “You’re not wearing any pants!”
Me: “…I’m…sorry?”
Woman: “You! You’re not wearing any pants!” *bangs some more*
Me: “And you know this how?”
Woman: “I can see your legs! They’re bare! You’re not wearing any pants!”
Me: “Ma’am, I’m wearing a *skirt*.”
(The woman stops banging on the wall, and is completely silent. I never got to know what she thought of a woman wearing a skirt.)
Riiight. What an odd lady.
I jut want a bathroom of my own at work. People on my floor can't flush properly.
HAHA well it's as good as a unisex toilet.
They are right next to each other and everytime the doors open you can see in.
All the men in my office have confirmed Newspaper man's antics, as they see him AT THE URINAL WITH THE PAPER!
Yeah the security toilet bit is very strange. The public can get off at any level except the two parking levels. But like its a bathroom... why?
HAHA yeah trance music might encourage people to spend LESS time in the cubicle? lol
Yeah that lady is ultra weird, WHO comments on anything happening in the next cubicle unless its audiable vommiting?
oh hahahahahah I always forget about urinals, because we don't have them!
I was imagining him
sitting ON the toilet, making particularly loud snapping noises with his paper as he turned the page.
I mean, *I* read a lot, but honestly.
I don't even comment on vomiting. I do talk if I know the person next to me though
Yes yes, the urinal (sorry confirm!)
Yeah it is weird... and he walks IN reading and walkes OUT reading so I believe them.
You know, I think 'pants' is officially the funniest word in the English language. As confirmed by Jerry Seinfeld:
"Because, when it comes to a difference of opinion, pants always beats no pants."
hehe I've started using the British strain of 'pants' in the sense that everything is getting fouled up.
Much like you can say things are 'cocked up' because its rude but it's not.
I love that too, like when I was at the pub in London and a (somewhat older) colleague declared that the new Kylie calendar was Absolute Pants.
Gold!
PS I think coked up is kinda rude, I wouldn't say it to my mum or anything, but then I'm a bit of a wuss.
Post a Comment