Life as a Fashion Critic; part 3

Trucker Chic ... is defiantly a style which I am unhappy to see the continued proliferation.
This is SportsGirls offering of a 'dress' along with another trucker inspired flannel nightmare which looks exactly like this one. Is it too difficult to make a lovely sexy little dress, a girl can wear with some heels? Apprently...
Sportsgirl do have some nice little tops, and a rather hideous 'Fur Collar Gillet' so popular it has sold out online, what a shame.
Seems Just Jeans and JeansWest have avoided rocking out with flannies,
can't say the same for JayJays 'On the Streets' range though. Nearly every SES variety of cheap (and nasty) clothing store has a form of this, with varients including baby doll, tight under the bust, belted etc. Of course, you can't swing a pair of leggins in Supre or Ice without hitting a flannie... in fact you can't swing anything in Supre because they are always crammed to the max with clothes rails just stepping in makes you feel like an elephant. And you better Valley Girl are in on it!

This cute little dress is immediatly discounted because ValleyGirl have decided to name is a 'SACK DRESS' I kid you not.

Too far a parallel, even for me

I enjoy deciphering parallels, like mysteries waiting to be personally interpreted. For instance, the parallels between The Wizard of Oz and The Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd (Thanks K!), The Book of Daniel chiasm or the parallel between 'Dreamgirls' the movie and The Supremes.
Some of these parallels are more obvious than others, more simplistic, for instance it doesn't take a genius to see that Diana Ross was a diva and so was 'Deena Jones.'

But a parallel between the two above? I didn't think so.
After watching (ok drooling through) Troy on Saturday night, and decided I wanted to read The Iliad, which is a poem along with the Odessey what the story of Troy was formed from, to further my personal education.
Conviently there is an large independant bookshop located near my work, so when I finished I bustled down and looked through the shelves.
I was greeted by the owner, as sensible looking gent with half moon glasses, deep in conversation with his friend about relationships and the renovations the shop was going through shortly.
Due to my limited time between shopping and getting to the station so I don't miss the infernal train I popped my head from round the stacks and asked,
"Do you have any Homer?"
He cocked his head to the side and said "Homer Simpson?"
"No... um like The Iliad" I said wrly, he obviously felt jaw droppingly stupid because he rushed over to history and said "No, Sorry, must be sold out - and I have no idea why I said Simpson."
I ended up buying out his Harry Potter range and he said "Homer and Harry, good cross section" - I replied with, "Yes, well, variety is the spice of life?"
Guess my personal education will have to wait.

Loop Holes - part two

Well my loop hole has just slipped and chocked me, and as far as I am concerned have alienated scores of people who want to shift some unwanted clutter.

After stuffing up my cute ebay purchase, my seller said she would just readjust the invoice and I could simply pay fees incurred for listing the item. Excellent. Only problem being, now EBAY have revoked this feature.
So pressing my luck, I asked my seller if I could simply pay the $2.50 directly and then get her to make payment as received.
An awesome idea on my part because it would also confirm if my loophole was alive and kicking.
Apprently not.
Clearly because Ebay and PayPal are linked they are linking payment receipt directly into Ebay as a function.
Sneaky, greedy bastards.

This for me signals...

Queen of the Slouch

Mischa Barton has probably been emblazoned as Queen of many things by many a different magazine editor.

Queen of Rich Teen Angst by Girlfriend magazine,
Queen of the Sexy Lithe body by Ralph magazine,
Queen of Cellulite by Who/Any trash magazine

But none so prestigious a title as the one I have elected.

Mischa Barton is QUEEN OF THE SLOUCH

Look at that posture.... why? Why is she doing that?
Is it a by-product of going out with the grease factory Brendan Davies (or whatever his name was, you know who I mean) who was a foot short than her, so she was forced to slouch?

Oh my god... Nicole Kidman Syndrome?
I am beginning to see a pattern here...

THEN; shoulders rolled AND NOW: Still short bloke but upstanding

Look! THEN: AND With something called Cisco Adler

Gimme a head of hair!

Long beautiful hair... err um, well short actually.

My cousin just got a FAB little Aeon Flux type cut, very edgy and suits her totally, which has re-inspired me to go for the lop - opposed to my other option, which was to get extensions, drastic I know but I am reaching the end of my style tether.

So having reignited my hair search, I bought on of those disgustingly HUGE priced hair magazine and am hoping I have had a mini-revolution.

As previously discussed, I am one cursed with a vile cow's lick. HATE HATE HATE.

My hair dresser usually knows me as fairly fearless in the hair front, my motto being 'It's just hair' but amusingly enough I am looking at styles I would never have considered automatically vetoing due to fringe aspect.

I'm looking at a morph of these two styles, The Keira Knightly cut will keep enough length and weight on the stupid cow's lick to keep it from being an issue, while also hiding a bit of forehead and the back of the second cut has a miriad of options for cute choppy hair.

Getting quite excited about the thought of maybe being able to have a funky little quiff at the front! OHH maybe anyway!

Life as a Loop Holer

Since Ebay got it's money grubbing hooks into PayPal they have converted all online payments to Paypal only allegedly for our convenience and payment protection safety.

Naturally I had forgotten all about this as I bid for an adorable little pair of NWB Cafe Latte coloured pair of leather flats. Eleven bucks plus five dollar postage! What a winner I thought gleefully to myself as I proceeded to the checkout.
PAYPAL or COD ONLY? ARGH, what an annoying confrontation.
I categorically refuse to use paypal, even before they spearheaded us by forcing us with no other alternative. I find it is unnecessary to involve my credit card in things, mostly because I'm not speaking to it anymore because I am a shopaholic.
Dismayed I started typing an email to the seller, apologising because I am clearly an idiot but don't have paypal so therefore cannot complete the sale.
I had almost sent it when I noticed that in her little payment options blurb, she had written EFT accepted.
Somewhere in my brain, a light turns on - WHY DON'T I JUST ASK HER FOR THE EFT DETAILS? Ebay have removed eft details from the checkout, but what is to stop us from completing the sale externally?
HAHA! I think Ebay have done themselves here, they still have to allow COD and what really is the difference if we organize payment amongst ourselves?
Surely it cannot be this easy to find a loop hole?

So I launch into research mode, EBAY have this to say:

' From 21 May 2008: You must offer PayPal on all of your listings as well as currently permitted payment methods.

From 17 June 2008: You will only be able to offer PayPal on your listing and Pay on pick up (ie: paid for when picking up the item.)
Pay on pick up can only be offered in conjunction with PayPal. No other payment methods will be accepted. '

Why is EBay changing?:

To make our marketplace an even safer way to buy and sell, Ebay.com.au is introducing some changes:
21 May 2008 - All items listed for sale on eBay.com.au must offer PayPal as one of the payment methods
17 June 2008 All items appearing on eBay.com.au must be paid for using either: • PayPal • Visa/Mastercard (with transactions processed by PayPal) • Pay on pick up (i.e. paid for when picking up the item)No other payment methods will be accepted.
· PayPal Buyer Protection will increase to AU$20,000.

I still don't see what is to stop sellers listing Paypal AND COD, and then externally organising EFT payments. So what if I am in Sydney and my shoes are in SA, perhaps I can pick them up.

Update; I am a total idiot, shoes are a size nine... I am a seven and a half. Fortunately seller is letting me off with only paying the fees that Ebay charged her to place the ad then will resell. Nice.

A very bad week

I ate nothing but vegetables and drank water today to atone for the half block of Kit Kat Chocolate Overload, Two chocolate doughnuts and majority of Peanut M&M's packet I have eaten over the last three days.

It is so cliched to need chocolate when Aunt Flo comes to town.

Life as a Newbie

Being new has it's lerks and perks.
A perk seems to be merrily slinking off to the bathroom because you have recently increased your water consumption exponentially.
Also you can happily give wide eyed answers to questions because you genuinely do not know the answer, as a result of being new, as opposed to playing dumb.
And because you are new you can easily spend time catching up on the odd email, because nobody quite trusts you enough to do something major.

Today marked a complete week at my new job.
Lets just say that my predecessor seems to have been unliked... well fairly furiously.
Listening to my employers qualms about GBM (Guy Before Me), I feel confident that I will probably not suffer the same pitfalls as him.
He seemed to have strange work ethics, and while he was being guided worked well until someone looked the other way and it all fell to pieces so I am fairly confident that (at this stage at least) I won't get the arse the way he did.
Yesterday I was doing a GBM clean up, getting rid of some of the stuff littering his desk and decided to clean out my sent emails when I came across personal emails from him to his partner about work/family/money concerns, nothing earth shattering.
Of course. These. Should. NOT. Be. Read.
I should have deleted them, and I did immediately but as I was permanently deleting things I couldn't help but have a little kibitz on his life. Very bad I know.
(DISCLAIMER; I DIDN'T READ ALL OF THE OVER 100 EMAILS THERE WERE)
BOY did he like to email. And tell his partner how much he loved her.
Sweet but seven emails in one day to that effect... too much. And time consuming because most of them had word file attachments.
The phrase "I don't know what GBM did but..." I guess I know the answer.

Oh and yes, I am a snoop.
Sweet but nine emails in one day to that effect? Too much me thinks.

Richmond trains are horse sh*it part 2

OK I promise I will try really had not to whinge about this too much but it's too rich not to share.

The train was SO BUSY today, I could not physically get in the train - so the gaurd allowed me to travel with him in his compartment to save me having to wait forty mins for the next one.
Best train trip of my life.

Life as a Bad starter

Kicking self in bottom, had packet of pizza shapes after lunch :(

Ignored apple merrily in favour of pizza shapes.

Perhaps a job where snack food and confectionery samples are lying around en masse should not be in correlation with a junk food junkie and a new food plan. *SIGH*

And thanks to Dataceptionist for words of encouragment and tips - definatly true and good to consider food consumption as a matter or perspective.

Also work related mini rant, Richmond trains are horse shit. I've caught the peak train for Parramatta four times now, and am really worried at how agro I got tonight.

FOUR Penrith trains and TWO Blue Mountains trains came in between the 26 minute window I was standing waiting.

Where is the synchronicity here? Four trains (not including the fact that the Mountains trains go to the Riff) going to one location every 6 and a half minutes is vulgar.

Perhaps only less vulgar than the sardine can masquerading as a train which arrived in place of the Richmond train.

I am drafting a sharply worded letter to John Aqualina (our local MP, who occasionally shows his face at the train station) or Michael Costa, because if they think cutting 400 CITY RAIL JOBS is the answer to aid the flailing and ailing rail infrastructure they have another thing coming.

Cutting off dead wood is one thing, cutting the plant off at the ground is another.

Salads, Excercise, Action!!

Oh bother.

Friday night was talking about weighty issues with my friend, and how an acquaintance who is quite pretty and a little bit heavy, weighs 100kg - which shocked me (and gave me an internal happy, yes horrible I know.)

*aside* This weekend has comprised entirely of cheese, biscuits, sweeties and alcohol - v.bad.

Of course I would be lying like a rug if part of my motivation wasn't to shed kilos but I have also become annoyingly aware of how unfit I have become *GR*

In attempt to reverse this, I have identified my main problems areas:

LACK OF MOTIVATION, not wanting to be unfit should be motivation itself.

LACK OF WILL POWER, delicious things are so irresistible - but it only takes 2 weeks to break yourself of a habit (apparently) and I have taken a healthy lunch to work despite the plethora of yummy food surrounding.

I don't want to count calories, I personally don't think it is a healthy outlook to have as this can lead to obsession. As such I have ruled out, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers because its all quite points/units obsessive.

I know what is healthy and what is not, I know when I am eating something bad for me and am not blinded by '99% fat free' promises and misleading advertising to convince people something is good when it isn't.

I've considered the notion of a morning only Tony Ferguson plan, because I am a bit crap at having a good breakfast and can manage a decent lunch and dinner.

MY HEALTH PLAN (don't use the D word, because diets do not work, one needs to change whole outlook)

SO STARTING IMMEDIATELY; I AM DOING THE FOLLOWING -

Cutting out processed foods

No white bread

Limit chocolate intake

No fast food *potentially unrealistic

Minimising coffee/tea to ONE cup with only TWO sugars

Drink 2lts water

And the ever dreaded GYM route must be explored I suppose. I hate gyms, I think they are boring and I start to feel like a hamster running on an exercises wheel.

But there are two on my way home from work (a must becuase I won't go if I have to inconvenience myself) Curves and Fernwood. All depends on cost I suppose.

OH GOODNESS! HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!! thoughts?

Keep rollin

When I was a wee little girl, I studied classical ballet. Wasn't it so fun, dressing up in the pretty outfits and learning all the positions - I can still do 1st to 5th positions, because my teachers were always hard arses.
They were the dance teacher equivilent of the nun in the Blues Brothers.

One teacher had a habit of bellowing POSTURE!!!! which the whole class would shoot up, stand straight and tense all muscles.

Obviously Kate Ritchie needs to have her own personal ballet teacher, following her around screaming POSTURE!!!! physically rolling her shoulders back, and whipping a long stick around her buttocks.

Look at her... I know I slouch but this isn't slouching, it seems to be her thrusting her shoulders forward to expose all her collar bones.

Obviously this is the pose de jour? Miley Cyrus, Keira Knightly, Carrie Underwood and Mary Kate Olsen think its terrifically emaciating looking.

I think that tanorexic troll Rachel Zoe might be to blame here, but maybe I am just looking for a scapegoat here for the proliferation of this hunching, slouch.
POSTURE!!!!!! *SIGH* why can't these girls stand up straight, roll thier shoulders back and work thier racks!! (Albeit limited portions.)

ScarJo style? or Giselle, you don't see models slouching!

25 words or less

I don't win things.
Last year I made a concerted effort to enter as many of those shitty supermarket type competitions I could, you know the ones that they splash around supermarkets to get people to buy thier products. Obviously this works.
Figuring that someone has to win them and you have to be in it to win it, and it might as well be me! Well I didn't win a single red cent. Or bronze cent in our case?
I saw an ad for a TV comp for the new Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher movie 'What Happens in Vegas' to win his and her iPod touchs' AWESOME!
So fill out the little form and then get to this question;
Tell us in 25 words or less, "the ultimate prank you have played on the opposite sex - did it hit the jackpot or was it a complete flop?"
Horse shit isn't it? Obviously telling the truth is out of the question, because I have never done this (in my knowledge?).
But no lie I can create is elborate enough to sound plausible and yet knock socks off.
Lame.


In other news I managed to BURN MY HEAD not once but twice! With the hair straightener, totally sober - the first burn is the worst of the two burns but apprently I just didn't get enough and went back for another go of it!
And now I have two grotty, hickey looking burns which are dry and manky looking.
Just what I always wanted, to look like I have the mange starting my new job!
GHD; Thou shalt not burn thy head....

Eau de Sex Parfum

It's no new news that sex sells - and as Miley Cyrus has found out, no sex masquerading as sex sells too.

I understand clothing models. They need to wear the clothes the courtiers make, I even get handbag and jewellery modelling, you can see these things on a model.
But can you make sex sell a smell?
Apparently...
It all started when I saw the new ad for Burberry "The Beat" - the one where the little elfin girl is dancing around with ants in her pants.
What in the WORLD does she have to do with perfume?

But it gets worse.

And the mighty gangilly one Keira Knightly nuded up for Coco Mademoiselle.

Like all we need is bowler and some bling to be sexy?
I really honestly do not know what this means, if we wear this scent we will take off out silk dress and use the bowler we stole from the stalker following us to shield our breasts?




Yves Saint Laurent uses sex, pasty skin and heels to sell Opium.
I don't know why they bothered with the heels to be honest.


And it does not improve for men's fragrances either.

YSL feature a totally nude male to flog M7.

I, of all people, understand that scent is a powerful trigger for sex appeal. I cannot resist a man with a dash of Joop strategically dabbed... on his ... neck.

But whats this about?