Life as a Easter bunny

Happy Easter!
Wee isn’t Easter a lovely time? Almost as fun as Christmas, I remember Easter egg hunts at my cousins house, following my Uncle around convinced that he as going to inadvertently show us the location of all the eggs. He was a tough hider!!
Last year (or year before) we did another egg hunt for the littlies and I walked past a tree the following day and spotted an egg which had been missed – MINE!
As little bunnies and baby chicks nestle about looking adorable and little girls go looking for Easter eggs in giant red tulips I am afraid I have something very serious to discuss.
It is the evil scourge of the world of which I speak.

FRUITLESS HOT CROSS BUNS!! Hot cross buns with no fruit? On purpose?
We very excitedly rose this morning to dive into our fresh hot cross buns which had been smelling divine in the kitchen since we bought them.
Taking four out of the pack, I popped them into the microwave to prepare to butter them warm. As I split into it… NO FRUIT! Must be an error in this bun, a faulty bun.
All four buns, no fruit…. Only to my dismay do I see the Woolworth label reads ‘Fruitless Hot Cross Buns.’ Why? Is this a sick joke?
That's one of my favorite parts, and without the fruit it was nothing more than an unpalatable brown bun thing with a bit of cross on top.

Life as a Cowlicker

I have a cow's lick. I hate it. I hate it because while I would LOVE TO GET THIS STYLE I cannot unless I a) wax my forehead (I don't wax ANYTHING and am not about to start) b) get electrolysis c) get plastic surgery to correct it!
All for the sake of two dozen little hair follicles spiralling up and out and making my hairlife miserable.

I long for a fringe, blunt cut, wispy or side sweeping - as I have a long face shape it would be ideal, but no no no. Blow drying and product kinda work in the very sense that they work as long as I can be bothered to apply them and if I do not encounter any form of moisture in the air, thank god I don't live in Queensland right?
I also quite like the Rihanna inverted asymmetrical bob, but now every teenage trendoid has glommed onto it so that holds little appeal.

These cuts below could be what I'm looking for sort of asymmetrical , sans fringe naturally, keep it dark brown, maybe with some skinny deep purply/red fudge-lights... HMM I still don't know if I could be bothered to style it properly everyday, but moulding paste could get the job done... HMM

or? or or just go back to my original whish is a less fringy more layered version of version Jessica Alba's hair.

Life as a Book Reviewer

Being the lucky duck I am, who has thoughtful relatives with fabulous taste, I recieved the Go Fug Yourself book for a birthday present.

(For all those who do not know about fug, I suggest you go immediatly to http://www.gofugyourself.com - the fashion blog of two hilarious bitches)

When I first heard they had a book out I thought, COOL! But who could be bothered ordering something from America *PFT*

Then I unwrapped it as a birthday present.

I sat all the way home on the train with my eyes greedily glued to the pages absorbing brand new material on the celebs we love to hate what they are wearing.

It was hard to turn the pages sometimes, wonder who they were going to issue the Sag Award to, awarded for most egregious misuse of the privilege of having breasts.

And not to leave out the boys, the prestegious award for Male in most imminent peril.

But the grand fugging of all fugs to have ever fugged the fugging earth , is reserved for the end for those who truely shame themselves almost everytime they exit the house.

Lets just say that a belted lime green pashmina was involved.

So thankyou my darling cousin!

Next book; Shapelle Corby - the somewhat controvesial autobiography in the did she or didn't she case.

Life as a Avon Lady

DING DONG! AVON CALLING!

Oh god, oh god, oh god! What HAVE I gotten myself into?
Missing a few products that I use (nail polish, body washes, makeup) I decided to join up to Avon to mostly buy my own stuff.
My uplead (or whatever they are called) Rebecca just came by and brought with her my stuff, a dozen books, some samples and her best sales woman speil.

I only have to sell $200 worth of stuff to make $16.60! WOW that's amazing, how awesome! lol

So if you want any nail polish etc let me know! do it!

Life as a Fashion Critic; part 2

Hi y'all! Comin' up in the late news...

I didn't know that a deflated Dolly Pardon has started to read the news...

Oh wait on that's Sandra Sully! And she appears to be wearing someone's 80's formal dress, serious lookit.

WHAT IS WITH THE SLEAVES? AND THE HAIR? It looks like it's taken root in some really good fertilizer (main stream news?) and is now growing uncontrollably out of her ears!

This is not the apperance of a profession serious news anchor person, in fact I want to (and have) mock her, and harken onto sensible Sandra Sully. A Sandra who had sensible hair, wore a suit and didn't look like they were in a Cindy Lauper video.

MAN visual aids are so helpful.

Life as a Dirty Dancer

NO!!

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Actor and dancer Patrick Swayze, star of such hit films as "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost," has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer but is responding well to treatment, his publicist said on Wednesday.
The 55-year-old performer was working during his treatments, publicist Annett Wolf said, dismissing reports in the tabloid media that portrayed him in grave condition with only weeks to live.
Wolf issued a written statement from his physician, Dr. George Fisher that said: "Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment."

NO! Pat Sway can't die!

Life as a Cosmetic Surgeon

OH PRETTY!
Isn't it pretty? Don't you just love it?
No? Too pink & girly... Well hard fromage I am girly (sometimes) and as much as I loved Goldie and Perky (my two bloggy fishes) after 13 posts I had grown somewhat bored of them.

Have you even notice other people's grotty habits? (while of course remaining blithely unaware of your own, as it should be) Well I've seen some pearlers.
On the train this afternoon, I was sitting next to a woman filing her nails, which I must confess I have committed this cardinal sin but only to combat a hangnail.
I watched as she picked the muck from under her finger nails, and filed furiously feeling increasingly like Howard Hughes as the particles of nail filings whipped around the train carriage I imagined inhaling them and getting some sort of nail fungus lining my lungs.
Another time I stood waiting at a set of lights and happened to witness a lady in a shiny Lexus produce a pair of tweezers from the sun visor and pluck her chin hair out... in the car, at a busy intersection, in daylight. She'd clearly thought about this because she was prepared!
Like spitting on the street - YES I know that goes without saying but deserves a mention I feel.
Which leads me to a conclusion that Lexus or train it doesn't matter people are grotty inconsiderate filth-beasts.