Friday 24 October 2008

E for Effort

Friendships take effort, there is no doubt about it.
Some friends who you seem to have a real bond with though, seem to take less effort that others, you WANT to see them.
You may WANT to see them so badly that when they move away you take a three hour train ride to visit them. How then does something happen that to damage this?

This seems to have happened with a very good friend of mine, and I couldn’t be more stumped.
Several weeks ago now, I invited said friend to a Hen’s night of an ex-colleague we had both worked with, thinking she would like to go and celebrate this occasion.
We organised everything, and I even managed to get another girl on board to share the accommodation expenses – winner!
Strange thing was, when she found out that the other girl was coming she pulled out. Not because she didn’t like her but because she could keep me company instead. At this juncture I was pissed off.

I hadn’t seen or gone out partying with her for a while and was looking forward to it. So I let myself cool down for a week before speaking again. A week turned into two weeks, and I then I sooked and though she should call.I got over it and made contact to call, no call. Again, and again. Still no call. Then once again, I arranged to call her and once again texted me to say she was going out.

What’s the go here... are we going through a break up?

4 memos sent:

Dataceptionist said...

Eeek this sounds very odd indeed. Does the friend share an initial with a certain great aunt of ours?

very weird, especially if she's "not taking your calls"

K said...

This does sound bad.

So, is she talking to you?

if you want to salvage teh friendship, bite the bullet, call her and tell her how you feel.

If she doesn't answer, or call you back in a reasonable time, email it to her.

then wait. the ball is in her court but you've done everyting you can.

I hope it works out.

Dataceptionist said...

Its funny, you'd think I'd have loads of insight in this topic, having "broken up" with several friends in my time.

Except as I've matured I've become more tolerant, more aware of the subversive methods of ending a friendship, some of which I think you've mentioned.

One theory I have devised, but it doesn't fit perfectly sorry. Perhaps she thinks you've slighted her in some (as yet) unknown way? That would also explain her behaviour in some respects, maybe she was waiting for YOU to call her initially and then you got in a huff and thought it was her turn?

Not sure if this helps, it is strange. I saw that two word reply on Facebook also "no thanks" which also seemed curt in light of this post?

.:.:. Reanan .:.:. said...

Yeah I think I am going to have to just call. I've been attempting all these time negotiations... and obvliously with an easy out.

K, we've not spoken on the phone for some 6 weeks now - very unnatural feeling.

Yes weird hey? See its not just me!!